he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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