so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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