How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
