She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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