at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
