The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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