I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
