my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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