gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
