Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
