I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize