Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
ambylanc
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
