the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
