I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
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I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes