Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome

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(661): View more from California

i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(559): View more from California

He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(252): View more from North Carolina

It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.

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(813): View more from Florida

Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina

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(845): View more from New York

You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

classic

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