This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
