i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize