Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
