It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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