Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she told me i tasted like america
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize