I think I am morally bankrupt
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
