The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize