I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
