Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
