she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
