so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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