Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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