I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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