so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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