Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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