guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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