Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
