You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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