I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
