Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
