the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
