I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
