I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
