I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am spending my child support on dildos
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Randomize
