dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
