Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
