what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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