i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
