I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize