If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
