I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
