I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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