Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
