and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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