I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In America we eat man semen.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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