wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
