glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize