Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
