i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
