I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dignity is for republicans.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
