If that was your dad, he is hot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I didn't notice because vodka
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
