His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize