at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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