plz talk dirty to me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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