I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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