you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
